Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Due August 23, 2011

Today we had another doctor's appointment. We finally heard the heartbeat and it was so REAL that I am pregnant. The doctor gave me a due date of August 23, but I have a feeling I will have this baby sooner. I also have a feeling it is a boy, and I would be lying if I said I didn't care...because I do really want a girl. But of course the most important thing is, this baby is healthy.
I have been so freaking tired lately, it's unreal. All I want to do is sleep. I am fine until about 2, then I crash. I usually take August upstairs and have him lay in bed with me. I don't really ever sleep, but just laying down feels so good!
The doctor told me to walk a few times a day, because I told him I was concerned with my weight. I gained about 35 pounds with August, and this time I'm starting heavier than I was when I got pregnant with August.
Oh and about the due date, our 5 year wedding anniversary is August 19, so I'm hoping the baby doesn't come on that day!
I go back January 19th (Miss Olivia's birthday!). I don't know if he will do another ultrasound or not. I feel like my doctor does a lot of them compared to some of my friends' doctors.
I'm going to try and take a nap now, August is snoring next to me, we are both bundled up in blankets, it's really windy and cold outside!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Doctor's appointment.

So...this was an interesting day.
I got to my doctors new clinic. He used to be with Dr. Callahan, who delivered August, but we chose Dr. Dillon because we saw him a lot more and I really like him and so does Matt. Anyway, it was a nice new building, clean, quite, relaxing..unlike the other office that was loud and people always rushing in and out.
After peeing in the cup, getting my weight (GROSS) and blood pressure, we went into the room to change.
The doctor came in and he did an ultrasound. He had this weird look on his face I thought.. and then he said.. well it looks like you are really early in this pregnancy, about 2 weeks different than what your period would calculate it. So instead of being 6w6d, I'm 5 weeks! So we have to go back next Wednesday, and hopefully then we will see the heartbeat. He said there is nothing to be worried about, it is just really early to see anything. I was kind of disappointment because I felt like I needed to see the heartbeat to be more excited.
So next week we go back at 9:45. I'm hoping there will be a big change in the size of the baby and we can see the heartbeat! I also have no due date because he wants to wait until we get a heartbeat.

Again this will post on Thursday night, instead of Wednesday!

6 weeks & 5 days.

I am pregnant. I took a test on Friday, December 10th, after being 8 days late on my period.. and to not my suprise because I just knew I said PREGNANT. I mean, yes, I would be lying if I didn't say I was shocked to see those words, but I knew I was pregnant for the second we had sex (TMI sorry).
Baby #2 is due August 11, 2011. Really funny to think that so much has happened in August AND our son is named August!
I have different feelings about this pregnancy. I am really excited, but I think I hide it in more than I did when I was pregnant with August. I am more scared, even though I know what it is like to raise a baby into a toddler, I have never raised a baby into a toddler with a toddler!
I am also scared because I keep having nightmares about something being wrong with this baby. Tomorrow we go for our first doctors appointment and we will have an ultrasound. I think once I see & hear the heartbeat I will feel a little bit better. August loves my stomach already before I got pregnant, but now he's like all over it kissing it and everything. I can't wait to see what he will be like when it's a huge pregnant belly!
I am making a scapbook from August's first ultrasound until he was born. Doing this is making me relax more I think, even though I hate scrapbooking!
Oh and I am writing this on Tuesday, but it will not post until Thursday because Matt's parents still don't know and I don't know if she reads my blog or not!

Friday, November 19, 2010


I passed my GED.
I am excited because I really thought that I would never take it, let alone pass it!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


Danielle and I have been friends for almost 15 years. This last year has probably been the most challenging. We have been through so many ups and downs, but have both come out on top and are better friends because of it. I love Danielle like she was my sister, or my better half. I can bitch to her about things going on in my life and I know she will listen and give me advice.
August also loves Danielle very much. As soon as we pull up to her house, he gets really excited. He knows exactly where we are. He calls Danielle, DeDe. She is so good to August and sometimes when I see them together it melts me heart!
I love you Danielle!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Life is hard..

So life is really hard right now.. but I feel bad saying that, because in other's eyes my life probably isn't hard. We have our health, food on the table, and a roof over our head. But in MY life, I think right now is hard.
We have been approved for a loan modification on our house, which is great, except for the fact that we are SO behind on our property taxes, HOA dues, and second mortgage. We stopped paying all of that when we stopped paying our first mortgage. We could accept our first mortgage payment of $879, but we still have to pay $180 HOA a month, $250 for our second mortgage, and save at least $200 a month to be able to pay our property taxes every year. So basically we are saving only $200 a month with this new loan modification.

I don't know if this was God saying something to me or what...but I went on-line to look for rentals, which I haven't done in a LONG time, but this one house that I looked at back in June, that got rented, is now for rent again. It is right down the street from our house and it's 2 bedrooms but with a really nice backyard. It is really nice and I really liked it.
Basically Matt and I sat down tonight and decided.. do we keep the house or not.
Is it really worth us having to deal with grumpy ass old man, paying lots of money on back property taxes and HOA dues..
I know that if we decide to leave the house, it will be sad, but almost like a new beginning..
I just want some advice.. some prayer..

Thursday, September 30, 2010

We got approved!

So as some of you might know.. we haven't paid our mortgage for 1 year. After August was born, and then I lost my job we just feel behind on a lot of things, and the house being one of them. We have been saving our money in hopes of having a first & deposit for a rental, because we were sure that our bank wasn't going to work with us on keeping the house.
But after weeks and weeks of not hearing and then hearing from them and then another 3 weeks and then another 3 weeks in between communication with them.. we have finally been approved for a loan modification.
Basically, we start over. We aren't late on the 12 months we haven't paid and they lowered our payment by $223. We still owe taxes and our HOA dues, but at least we can stay in the house and use the money we saved up to help us pay for our taxes! It has been a crazy 12 months, not knowing what was going to happen, if we were going to be evicted from our house.. or what.
I am so thankful that we seem to finally be moving forward. Even though I am so excited that we have been approved, it is almost bitter-sweet. I was almost looking forward to getting out of this house, but in the long run it is probably the best that we stay here, and fix it up 100% and then maybe in a few years, when our credit is back to normal (because our credit took a huge hit not paying the house!), we can either sell this place, or use it as a rental and move to AG or something!?
Now we just need to save more and more in October, because as of November 1, we will start paying our mortgage again!
Frugal living.. here we come!

Sunday, September 12, 2010


1. a person known well to another and regarded with liking, affection, and loyalty; an intimate

I have had 3 best friends for 15 years: Danielle, Lori, and Wiss.

I know that I have made mistakes in the past that have hurt my friends feelings. I am not always the best person to be friends with, I make mistakes, even when I don't realize that I have.
I am sorry if I have ever hurt your feelings.
I will try my hardest to be a better friend, to be there for you more when times are bad, to celebrate more when times are good.
I want the next 15 years to be better than the first 15 years.
I love you like family.

Monday, September 6, 2010


So it seems as if my family has had a cloud of GERMS hovering over us the past week. It has been pretty much hell here. After Matt was better, I got worse. Then I finally got better and then August got worse. He currently has a crazy yeast infection, and a crazy cut under his eye that has made his eye swollen and looks like pink eye, but I'm pretty sure it isn't. Tomorrow I am going to call the doctor to just get him checked out and make sure he doesn't have anything crazy going on elsewhere that we don't know of.

My birthday is Thursday. I feel like when you get older your birthdays are more bitter-sweet. I am going to be 26. Not that old...but getting closer to 30. But what made me feel REALLY old was after I bought clothes at Old Navy and I went to get dressed this morning, I looked in the mirror and said to Matt, "Do you think that I'm wearing clothes that are for like a 17 year old? Because I feel like I'm one of those moms that's trying to stay young." It was a really weird feeling I had this morning.

So I feel like my house has been yelling CLEAN ME for the past few YEARS. I am SO sick of our house being so half ass. Like the baseboard upstairs isn't even done, the baseboard downstairs isn't painted all the way. The kitchen cabinets looks HORRIBLE. The flood we had a few months ago in the bathroom..yeah the floor isn't fixed yet. A lot of this has to do with us not wanting to put money into the house until we know if we are keeping it or not, but I still hate it. The light went out AGAIN in the garage and it is really annoying when I'm trying to do laundry and can't freaking see. We try and swifter every other day, but the floor just is ALWAYS dirty. I can't stand it. This house is just old and dingy I think. I also really want to paint the RED wall! I'm so over that red.

Reason number 129038 this month of why I think I'm pregnant:
I think I've packed on a few pounds and my boobs seem bigger, but maybe they are bigger cause I've gained weight?!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Welcome to Hell Week.

So this week has been really rough and I am about ready to have an emotional breakdown. It all started Sunday night when Matt told me he started to feel sick. He went to bed pretty early and took some Tylenol. He woke up Monday feeling a little better, but with some what of a sore throat. When I went into his work that day, he looked horrible and I could tell he was getting sick. Monday night after he got home he went straight upstairs to lay in bed. He only came down for dinner then went to bed. Tuesday morning he was horrible. His throat was worse and has a really bad headache. I told him to call the doctor, but of course he didn't. He didn't go to work, and slept all day while August and I were out of the house. Wednesday comes around and he's worse, so he finally calls the doctor and he has a full blown case of strep throat. Meanwhile, I am taking airborne 3 times a day, and August's runny nose isn't getting any better. He isn't drooling any more and his attitude is better, other than his SICK runny nose that drives me crazy. It's making his nose all red and sore and I feel really bad for him. Back to Matt, he got some meds and Thursday his sore throat was a lot better. He ended up going to work this morning, but he has no energy, so I don't know how long he is going to last. I was driving home last night and felt something in my throat. Then this morning I woke up with my ear hurting and a sore throat! I am so bummed. I really hope it isn't bad and it will go away.
Back to August.. other than having a gross runny nose, his penis is really red and his balls. I don't know what is wrong. I need to call the doctor today to see if I should bring him in. He has something similar before and it was a yeast infection.
I am going to continue to take airborne and Tylenol. Hopefully it will get rid of whatever is brewing inside of my throat!

On another note...Matt told me he was going to grow his hair out and then him and August will get their hair cut at the same time. I am really sad but he does need a trim. I just like his long hair, so hopefully it won't be cut all crazy.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Today was a good day.

So my Aunt Kathy called me around 9:30 to see if I wanted to go to the park. At first I didn't want to because I wasn't up for taking August out, but then she said.."You could get out of the house and away from Matt".. Matt, who is SICK. So I thought, good idea! So we got ready and at like 10:15 finally left the house. But then I needed to go to the bank, CVS for some airborne and then a smoothie at Blenders because I was really hungry.
By the time we got to the park it was after 11:00 and August had fallen asleep in the car. I did not want to wake him, so I just ended up talking to my aunt for a little bit while August slept in the car.
Then we headed to the beach to meet up with Lori, Jackson, Gunnie, Lucy, Erin, Claire, Faye, Dextor.... WILD.
It was really fun. We saw 3 dolphins.. it was SO great! They were just jumping in the air, it was really cool. Then there was a bunch of seals.. A BUNCH. It was such an amazing thing to see. We live in a really great area! When do you just see dolphins jumping out of the water!? Oh and we saw a goat.. some guy brought a goat to the beach, kind of weird.
Then afterwards, Lori and I went to Taco Bell and met at her house.
Jackson was asleep.. so August played by himself until Jack woke up. They were really good with each other today.
We stayed until around 5 and then went to the grocery store to pick up a few things for Matt.
When we got home, I gave August a bath and then Gibby a bath, she was really sandy!
I made August some dinner and then around 7:30, Matt went upstairs to lay in bed and August wanted to go to.. So I asked him.. "August, are you ready for bed?"
He looked at me, and headed upstairs. He went into his room and I told him to get into bed. He laid in bed and I put the blanket over him and told him goodnight. It was really cute.
Now I'm on the couch again.. I just DO NOT want to get sick.
Ok well I'm tired. I'm going to finish watching Cupcake Wars!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

What a day...

So August has been a nightmare lately. He has been teething since Thursday and it's a nightmare. He is drooling like CRAZY. He didn't take a nap all day today and finally went to bed around 8:30.
Matt went to Brandon's for a BBQ and I decided to stay home because I didn't know how August would be.
I am watching the Suze Orman Show.. she's so funny. It really makes me think about our retirement and where our money goes!
I am really tired and should probably go to bed.
We are renting a van next weekend and going to IKEA to get a new couch! BRAND NEW! I am so freaking excited. We are getting 1 couch and probably another chair. This living room of ours is a nightmare to furnish.

So lately I have been really hoping that we get to keep our house. Before I didn't care at all, I was ready to get out of here and have a yard and start packing and all that. But then I just really started liking our house. I have been talking to the bank once a week and they still don't have an answer for us. They would be stupid to not let us keep the house. It is going to take forever for them to sell! There is EIGHT houses right now for sale in our area.
Hopefully soon they will have good news for us. In September, it will have been 12 months that we have not paid. You would think that we have saved so much money, but we haven't. We have saved a good amount but not as much as I thought we would.
It would be nice to go a few more months without having to pay, but at the same time.. it's really annoying not knowing what we are going to do. I just hope by Christmas we will know!

Speaking of Christmas.. I CAN'T WAIT!
119 days.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Oh Hi, my name is Betty Crocker...

So I just read ALL the comments about my craziness of thinking I'm pregnant and all that haha. Thank you for all of your inputs. I think I'm going to talk to Matt about the BC thing, although he's going to think it's a plan for me to get pregnant! But maybe I can just switch BC's for awhile to see how that makes me feel.
On another note, I am crazy...crazy baking!
In the past 3 days I have made FROM SCRATCH:
-Strawberry Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting
-Lemon Cupcakes with Lemon Frosting
-Zucchini Muffins

I am pretty much bored out of my mind, so I'm cooking!
I haven't tried the last two because I  just got done making them, but they smell AMAZING!

I just got done doing all the dishes, and now I need to make the frosting. Then I need to start on dinner...Tacos.
I have been dealing all day with a cranky baby, who keeps THROWING the remote at my face. He is OBSESSED with Yo Gabba Gabba. If we are watching T.V and it's not on Gabba, he starts throwing a fit.
When we go over to Danielle's house, the first thing he does it go to the remote (and then the Hello Kitty figures).

So although my crazy "I'm Pregnant" phase has gone away, my "holy crap my back hurts" has not. It is SO stiff. It really sucks. I have been sleeping a little bit better, except for August waking up at 4:30 this morning.

I ran yesterday. My legs this morning, oh yeah.. they hurt. I want to run tomorrow with the girls and then pick up a slide from Anna Grimes so August can have more junk in our patio! He loves Jackson's slide, so I want to get him his own. We have a swing that we hook up to the beam outside and he enjoys that a lot!

Well.. I think that is it for now. My birthday is like less than 2 weeks away. I'll be 26 yo!


Monday, August 23, 2010


Well lately I have been not all myself. I feel like something is really off, I don't know if it is hormones or what, but I just don't feel the same. Last time I felt like this was before I found out I was pregnant with August (I am not pregnant, I have taken two test and they are negative, and I'm on birth control and I have had my period). So I feel like maybe it is a chemical imbalance. The past week I went through this crazy cleaning, organizing, nothing could be clean/in the right place mode. I threw out (donated) so many clothes, and stuff that I just don't use/need any more. I did the same in August's room. I bought all these bins to organize the closets (which look really good), and a new shoe organizer for August's shoes. But then when I thought it was done, I went back in his room and re-organized everything again. Then I returned some of the bins I bought at Target, and got different colors, because I just didn't think the colors matched. Then in our room we started doing everything in blue and brown and I have this one red bin that is on the top shelf of our closet, and every time I look at it, I get really frustrated that it does not match. Even though I have 4 pink bins that don't really match, that red one drives me crazy. So again, went to Target to make sure I had all the bins I needed, and thank goodness they were on sale! I feel okay with August room. It is how I want it to be for now, and everything is in it's place and it actually looks really good.
The next step was the living room, and dear lord this will never be clean. However, I packed away a ton of old toys that August doesn't play with any more and bought some bins for the shelving unit we have and it looks good (white shelf, black bins). Matt even said it made it look a lot cleaner.

Another huge issue I am having is sleep. Last night was probably one of the worst nights for me. I tossed and turned ALL night. I am a very light sleeper most of the time, so whenever the dog licks or I hear something outside I wake up. Gibby is getting better with her allergy problem so she isn't licking all night long, and we got her her own bed to sleep in, but in the middle of the night she creeps up next to me and wants under the covers. I have been trying to go to bed earlier, before Matt, so it's not as hard for me to fall asleep when he's up reading or listening to music or watching tv. Usually I can fall asleep when he's doing any of those things, but it's just easier if I'm already asleep.
My back has been hurting really bad and I think this is what is causing me to toss and turn all night, because I get so uncomfortable. I also have things running through my head a lot, and that causes me to just not fall asleep at all. Last night I had insane heart palpitations, so it took awhile for me to calm down and be able to fall asleep.
I am so tired during the day and I always tell myself to nap when Augusts naps, but I end up relaxing and watch tv or go on the computer instead of closing my eyes.

Even though I know I am 99% sure I am not pregnant, there's that 1% that drives me CRAZY. There is really NO WAY that I am, I just hold onto the hope that I am.

Matt doesn't want to have another child for awhile, yet I would like to start trying in October.
I think this is another thing that keeps me tossing and turning when I can't sleep.

Ok that's my life in a nutshell the past week or two.


So I wanted a change, mostly I just wanted to be able to log in with my gmail account and not my hotmail account. So this is my new blog, a new adventure.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Mother's of 2+ kids...

Please tell me your thoughts and opinions on when you decided to have baby #2... were you scared? Did you think.. how can I handle TWO kids.. what would you have done differently. What's easy.. what isn't easy..

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Oh...where to call home.

So.. as you all pretty much know..we are foreclosing on our house...or so we thought.
I got a call on Thursday from our bank.. that we haven't paid in 10 months! They decided they want us to stay in the house and are going to work with us to lower our monthly payment. I am kind of just laughing about the whole thing. We will stay in the house depending on how much they lower our monthly payment. We still owe on property taxes and our HOA, so they have to lower it enough for us to be able to afford to pay those two things.
I've just been praying about it and I know whatever is the best for us.. it will just work out.
I really do hope we can stay in the house for a few reasons..
Even though I hate living in Orcutt, and I hate not having a fenced in yard, and I hate pretty much the house.. it's still our first house, that we (kind of) own... I want to be able to fix it up 100% and then maybe in a few years.. try and rent it out and move to AG..?
I don't know.
Whatever is meant to be.... yeah.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

When is it right...

Oh how I miss this little tiny baby, who now is this big baby...

So when do you know when it is right to add another little person into this world? I wasn't all..but the past few days.. my mind is changing. I am ready to be pregnant again, and to go through a crazy 9 months.. all to have another amazing little child.
Watching August grow and learn has been amazing, I wouldn't change it for anything. But I feel like he's so independent and loves playing with other children, I want him to have a sibling to play with and be close in age.
I know our life is hectic right now, but in some degree it will always be hectic!

Friday, July 23, 2010

The outcast.

OVER IT...It's the phrase I'm going to use to describe how I feel about everything right now, other than August & Matt. I am kind of over everything.
I thought moving to California would be different....I thought it would let Matt and I get out and enjoy life. The weather is almost always perfect, don't have to worry about the snow or humidity.
But there's something I think I have come to realize.
I think that I had more fun in Illinois. We did WAY more things, and even though we have a child now, I know that we could do the same exact things we did then.
My biggest thing about moving to California was that I wanted the weather, and I wanted my friends.
But things aren't what they used to be.. everyone is changing, growing older, growing up, growing apart.
I had great friends in Illinois, yes we weren't childhood friends, I only knew them for 3 years, but they were still all awesome.

If Matt told me, pack up.. we are moving to Chicago, I would be happy. Yes, I would cry when we actually left, knowing that I wouldn't see my friends or their kids, and August wouldn't have grown up with all my friends kids..
But seriously, when do I see my friends anyway....sometimes only once a month!
I feel like I live in a different state.. and we are just 25 minutes away.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Friends: Melissa Haynie

Melissa Haynie: Would you believe that me and Wiss HATED each other when we first met. Crazy.. I know. But we have grown to love each other and even though sometimes we don't see eye to eye, we are like sisters. Wiss came to visit me in Chicago twice, and we had so much fun! I love Wiss. I love her family. Wiss is someone I would call if I wanted to play games, or go to the movies or dinner with. She will only talk about the 49ers when it comes to sports. Unless the World Cup or Olympics are on. She thinks baseball last year round and hates it. Although we did go to a Cubs game and it was like snowing! Wiss was my maid of honor in my wedding and I am so glad she was.
Me & Wiss became really close after I ran away from home and then came back to CA. We hung out EVERY DAY. And most of the time it was with Dillon (before he became too cool). Her dad once said I was a bad influence because I didn't finish school. HAHA. I wonder what Jim thinks now? I hope he doesn't think that! Amanda is like a mom to me. I love her.

And that is my story about Melissa Amber Haynie.

Friday, June 18, 2010


I could not sleep last night at all. I had to start counting because my mind was going everywhere. I am nervous because I'm looking at a house today that's right down the street! Instead of turning left on Foster, you would turn right and it's a house with a front and back yard! It is 3 bedrooms 1 bath, 2 car garage. The only down side it's right on foster, across from the high school. I am looking at it at 11:30. It's $1395, which is better than $1500!
I couldn't sleep last night because that is all i was thinking about. I'm scared that due to our recent history of what's been going on, we won't be able to rent, like no one will approve us. Danielle told me to stay positive. Which I am trying.
From the outside this house is really nice, but I have NO idea what the inside looks like, other than I know it has hardwood floors, which you can't really go wrong with! I am really excited to look at it, but I don't want to get my hopes up.. cause either a. i wont like it or b. we won't get approved.

also I have been thinking about all that's been happening lately. we have gone through SO much the past few months. i have been looking for jobs, but NO luck. shannon sent me information about jobs on the base.. i need to look into it.
I have been doing secret shopping the past two months. In May I made only $200, but so far in June I have made almost $300 plus a free oil change! I think if I can make at least $400-$500, then we will be fine until I can find a job. Thankfully I am still getting unemployment, but that will run out in either August or September.

Another thing that I'm thinking about is baby #2. We of course are not thinking about it happening any time soon. We aren't ready, and we don't have the money. But that worries me because I really don't want to wait until August is almost 3! I want them to be 2 1/2 years apart. Maybe we will start trying early next year?
Whatever.. I'm not planning on it anytime soon.
Alright thats all.
I'm going to post about August later! He's changed a lot! He is almost 30 pounds too! BIG boy!

Thursday, June 17, 2010


We are looking for a place to rent from Orcutt-5 cities. If you know of anything 2-3 bedrooms, NO MORE than $1500, please let me know! We will be moving around the first of August. THANKS!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


So I updated my resume.. I just need to send it to a place to hire me.
Matt's work is hiring for a 20 hour a week job in SLO. It only pays $10/hour but that company is AWESOME to work for. I would love to work for them...but it's in SLO. Matt used to drive 40-50 minutes to work when we lived in Chicago, so why can't I? The only thing is.. I would need to find a babysitter or day care to watch August for 4/5 hours during the morning, because the hours of this job are MORNINGS.
What should I do??? I really want to apply.. but I'm affraid if I DO get the job, what will I do with August?!
I need to find a job, a house to rent, and yeah.. Stressful.
I've already looked at 2 houses.. the first one HUGE backyard.. HUGE it was awesome. But the rooms were really small, the carpet was gross, one room had red carpet from the 70s! It had no dishwasher.. really outdated.
The other.. i walked in and it instantly smelt like smoke. the house was dirty.. but had nice size rooms and a decent kitchen.. it needed some TLC, which is fine but I don't know.. the smoke smell i dont think i would know what to do. The back yard was decent as well.. both great locations in Orcutt.
I want to move to AG but Matt wants to stay in SM since his work is right here.
Alrght, please give me some advice!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

I did it I did it.. I finally did it.

I finally ran in a 5k and I had a lot of fun, other than the freaking HEAT! I know that I would have done so much better if it wasn't so f'ing hot. I did 3.1 miles in 40.01 minutes. I was actually really bummed because I wanted to be closer to 30/35 minutes. I haven't ran in 4 weeks, which I think made it a little harder as well.
I am really glad I finished and that I did it mostly running by myself. It was really peaceful and I just really really loved it. I hope now I can get a better pace and run longer and faster and when I do another race I'll beat my time.
However, I do need to get some new running shoes! I'm thinking about getting the ones Erin has, I really like NBs and they aren't that expensive.
Alright I'm really tired because I didn't nap after the run and I was at up 6!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

I don't know what to do...

I need help...we need help.
So the past few days August has been very difficult. He does not take a nap, he does not go to bed. He will be falling asleep in the living room but the second I put him in his crib he FREAKS out..screaming, kicking, spazzing out. I will let him cry for awhile and then when I got in there, he's jumping up and down in his bed, screaming. The past few nights Matt and I have had to rock him to sleep, but the second we put him down he screams. The past two nights we have had to lay him in bed with us, wait until he's asleep then move him into his bed. He was NEVER like this! It just started like a week or two ago. He used to be the easiest baby to put down for a nap or bedtime!
We are lost, we do not know what to do. Plus, he used to go to bed at 7 every night, but now it's like 8 or 9! I don't care if he stays up later, but I just don't get what is going on. I know that he has two bottom teeth coming in, one has already come through, the other is about ready too. Nothing soothes him though. It's really stressful and it's driving me and Matt crazy.
If anyone has a suggestion please do tell.
ALSO, he has been waking up really early! Using he sleeps 12 hours, 7-7..but since this craziness started he wakes up at 6-6:30! I am SO tired, that 30 minutes is killing me.
That's all!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

cough cough.. snot sneeze

I AM STILL SICK! I mean, I'm like 5% sick. But it's annoying. I have to blow my nose still all the time, so much snot! I just pray that I'm better by next weekend! I want to run in the Strawberry Stampede, I want to be able to have fun on Matt's birthday (it's his golden! 29 on the 29th!) and I want to finally get my mothers day tattoo!!

Monday, May 17, 2010


Everyone I know.... that has kids.. gets to watch their kids, or have their mom watch their kids.
I...will have to find a job soon, and we will have to put August in daycare. This is something that neither of us want to do, we are dreading the day it comes.
But I thought before I went and searched for the best daycare with spots open, I would ask any of my friends that would like to watch August a few days a week...with pay.
That's all the details for now.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Coupons & Savings

So I am going to become one of those crazy coupon shoppers. Today was a trial run, to see what I need to improve on.. and A LIST will be the first thing and second is to get my coupons organized!
Here is what I spent/bought & saved.
1. Target - They had a deal going if you buy 2 boxes of Huggies you get a $5 gift card.
I first bought those with 2 $3 coupons. So my total was $36.61 for 140 diapers. I got the $5 gift card and rung everything else up on a second transaction.

Most of the items I bought were cleaning items, cat & dog food, cat liter, wipes, bag of mixed chips (frito lay), and goldfish. (i forgot to give them the $1.00 coupon for the liter, it would have been only .77 cents!)
My total was $60.54 cents, used the $5.00 gift card, so it came out to $55.54.
I saved a total of $18.91.

Then I went to Fresh & Easy, which is located in Orcutt, and they are cheaper than Albertsons most of the time. I had a $3.00 off coupon of $30 a more.. so I went there to get what I knew was cheaper than Albertsons.. (they don't take manufactor coupons, which sucks because I didn't know until I went to check out, I would have saved an additional $2.00)
I saved $5.98, my total was $82.65.
I bought: oj, milk, cheese, vegis, ice cream, ziploc bags, muffins, meat, water, fruit, chicken broth, toilet paper, dressing, eggs...

Then Albertsons:
Cereal, vegis (what they didn't have at fresh and easy), deli lunch meat & cheese, gerber juice, white beans, bread, yogurt, charcoal, baby ibprofin, tylenol, and diet pepsi.
I spent $77.42.
I saved a total of $29.29.
Bonus Buy: $3.74
Preferred Savings: $21.06
MFG Coupon Savings: $4.49

I saved $60.18 + the $5.00 coupon.
Not bad!
Even though I spent about $250, what I bought will last for at least 2 weeks. I know I will get better at planning out my list and coupons, so this is just the beginning. Plus - Walgreens & CVS have really good deals, but I'm not that crazy yet!!!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


So I have to put my trust in the Lord, because I can't handle the stress I have been feeling lately. I have to trust that He will provide for us, and that He knows what is in store for us these next few months. I pray that we can get through all of these changing times. I am leaving it up to the Lord, because that's all I know how to do right now.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

balls to the wall

It's been awhile. Here's what's been going on:
August and I flew to Colorado on Tuesday, April 27 - our flight was from Santa Maria to LAX to Denver. August did AMAZING. Yes, he wasn't silent the whole time, but for 90% of the time he was. I am really glad that I flew with him for the first time, instead of me and Matt because Matt would have just made me more stressed out!
Anyway, the trip was wonderful. I really needed that time away and to be with my parents and brother, although I could have done without my brother a few times, he's got such a bad attitude!
I loved watching August interact with my parents and just see him light up every time my dad came in the room. He really did love playing with my dad and it was really funny.
I was able to visit Robyn, Corinne, and Maci while I was there. We all went to dinner at this place called HuHot, it's amazing!
Our flight back was ok. He got alittle crazy from Denver to LAX because it had been such a long day already! We had a 2 hour layover in LA and finally made it home around 7 pm on Monday, May 3.
Last week was crazy. Matt got really sick on Wednesday night, vomiting and diarrhea more than ever. Augie also threw up Wednesday night, that was not fun for me at all. Thursday and Friday Matt stayed home from work, and Friday I started feeling sick. I was trying to fight it, but it didn't work. I am now completely sick. Anyway, Mother's day was good, although we did NOTHING because we all still weren't 100%. Matt made me breakfast and it was really good. Then we took a nap and that was really nice.
Well it's now Tuesday, and I went to the doctor, my tonsils are medium size and red, Pat gave me a ZPACK which I LOVE because they always work. Although he said he doesn't know if it will this time.. ugh. Also, he told me I have a slim chance of doing that race on Saturday. He told me to just see how I feel and if I'm up to it, then do I'm praying these drugs work and I can do it!
That's all for now. Pray that I get better so I can run in my first 5k this Saturday!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


I already miss my family.
Friends can't replace family.
I love my friends, but friends and family are different.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

It feels good..

to be back to running! I haven't really RAN in 2 weeks, I have done little short runs and then long walks. Today was a really good run for me, until James Way of course! I made it all the way to Mason without stopping, which is crazy. I pretty much walked up Mason, ran alittle of Tally Ho, walked most of James Way, a few sprints here and there, and then ran down James Way, ran half of rancho parkway. For the most part I feel that I did really good. My knee did not hurt at all, although my ankels hurt alittle bit.
My fastest pace at one point was 7.22, but that was probably going down hill, because my slowest was 18.00, hahahaha.
Anyway I feel that I have improved and if it wasn't for those hills I would have been able to have a better pace I feel like.
I hope to get in a few runs when I am in Colorado.. at least 2! But the air is so different up there.
Ok time for dinner!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


So I took a little break from running because my knee would hurt within the first 5 minutes. I started walking again though and my knee is feeling 100% better. I am really wanting to get out and run again but this stupid weather is holding me up. It's freezing cold, rainy and windy!
We are meeting Saturday for our Grrrls run, which I am really excited about, but I know it's going to be really hard for me since I haven't really RAN in almost 2 weeks. There is a few 5k-10k's that I want to do..
There is one on the 8th, Bull Run in Santa Maria which is a 10k, the only thing that freaks me out is I'll be in Colorado until that Monday, only giving me 4 days to really prepare myself for it.
Then there is the 5k that the Running Grrrls are all doing, which that will be fun and short and that's on the 15th in San Luis. And then there's the Strawberry Stampede that's on Sunday, May 30th! I for sure want to do that one.
Anyway.. my house smells really bad and I don't know what it is, and it's gross, I have the window open but it's really cold now!
Ok and goodbye.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Call me crazy... call me.. baby crazy..

So I am having baby fever. After seeing the cutest little girl ever yesterday at GAP, it made me want a baby...a baby girl!
Lately when I am in August's room I think about how cute it would be with a toddler bed for August on one side, and then his crib on the other side for a baby. Think I'm crazy yet? I'm not.. I just really know that I want the kids to be 2-2 1/2 years apart. And that I want a summer-early fall baby.
I'm crazy I know.. but whatever.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

please knees.

so if tomorrow the weather is good, i am going to run. i haven't ran since wednesday because my left knee has been hurting really bad and matt told me to rest alittle bit and then when i go back to running to only do it every other day. i have some tendinitis in my knee so thats why it hurt.
i had an amazing 3 days well 4 if you count today, but today wasn't as amazing. went to the beach, the zoo, and the aquarium! it was all so much fun. i hung out with danielle 4 days this week, which will probably never happen again because she goes back to school on tuesday and then ill never see her! (i had to take advantage of her being out of school for a week!)

oh and august LOVES gibby, he laughs every time she walks by him. it's so cute.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Happy Birthday Grandpa.. you would have been 74.

So in 1992, April 23rd, my grandpa died. He was only 56 years old. Yesterday Matt and I were trying to kill time so I said let's go find my grandpas grave. I didn't realize at the time that today is his birthday. After searching forever, I knew it was near a tree and on the left side.. I finally found his stone. I was on the phone with my mom and I was holding back tears. I think I am really emotional about it because my dad is now a grandpa and I just realize how much grandfathers mean to their grandchildren. I was never that close to my grandpa only because I was young and he was sick most of the time. My other grandpa was just never around. I want August to grow up with a good relationship with his grandpas (and grandmas of course).
That's all.
I love you grandpa.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

My poor knees

So I ran over 6 miles today. 4ish miles this morning and 2.5 this evening.
I am tired and my knees hurt really bad.
Easter is tomorrow!
I am going to try and get a run in before we go to church.
I'm out!

Thursday, March 25, 2010


So this morning I went for a run.
Here are my times:
(I walked up the hill, then started running right away, so I didn't time my's about 2 minutes though)
R: 15:35.6 (SAY WHAAAT)
W: 2:00.6
R: 2:02.8

I was hurting after the 15 minutes, so I stopped and walked, then run and it was killing me, so I walked again, but decided since the last portion of my run was slightly downhill, and by slightly, I mean really you can't tell.. I decided to run it. My total time was 27 minutes.
The 15 minutes, I ran 1.3 miles. I think it's easier for me to run by myself..I know weird right. Also I like straight paths, flat and easy for me.
I'm going to be sore!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Danielle Voegele - It's your birthday bitch!

Me & Danielle have been friends since junior high. I love her. She's like my sister, we bitch and fight but always come back to eachother! I feel special to have her in my life, she's an amazing lady and I can't wait to play bingo with her when we are 80!

-I am waiting for August to wake up from his 3 1/2 hour nap so we can go have lunch with her!!!!

Monday, March 22, 2010


I have had a really rough two weeks..going on three. It is really taking a toll on me, I thought the stress was gone, but with August being sick, then the whole cat issue, and just feeling like there is no end in sight for how I have been feeling, is just making things alot worse.
I need to see that there is going to be happiness again and that my stress will go away..
I just have breakdowns when small things happen, and I need to get a grip!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Run 3

Better day today.
So Matt went with me and I made him push August in the stroller because I wanted to see what I would do without it! So much easier!!
Walk: 5:19.2
Run: 10:02.1
Walk: 4:22.9
Run: 3:16.1
Walk: 0:18
Run: 2:50.0
Walk: :48.8
Run: 6:23.1

I did WAY more running this time! The walks were up hill, and then crossing the street. So I pretty much run almost the whole way! We went 33:20.5 minutes.
I hope tomorrow's run with the girls I will do better!
Now for a shower and college basketball and bbq hotdogs!

Friday, March 19, 2010

My Augie

So today I gave him whole milk instead of formula...and he liked it! I even ditched the bottle and gave it to him in a sippy cup. I am really proud of him.
He had a rough night last night. He woke up around 12 and couldn't go back to sleep. He came into our room and was just doing weird things and he kept pulling my hair and I swear he was asleep! He has a runny nose, cough and sneezing...I'm not sure what exactly is wrong, or if it's allergies or has to do with his teeth.
Today is Friday!
YES. Sunday is the next grrrls only run at the BJT!
Next week Matt's parents come into town and it's Augie's birthday party!!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Run Day 2

So today I didn't think I'd get out, but I decided I should even if it was just for alittle bit. So I ran for 20 minutes.. which is about 1.3 miles according to google maps.
These are my times:
walk: 5:49.3
run: 2:46.3
walk: 50.1
run: 2:35.8
walk: 2:18.9

I feel like it was a really good jog/walk. I came home sweating like crazy.
I hope that on Sunday I can run more than walk.
I know the motivation from other people will help alot, it's easier to quit running when you are by yourself.

One Year Ago...

So I remember exactly what I was doing at this time one year ago.. I was walking over to the emergency room from my doctors office. I was dilated at 4 and almost 90% effaced.
I remember seeing Maci Smith and I told her I was going into labor!
I remember being scared, excited, in pain, and excited!
I was HUGE and ready to have that baby out of me.
After a few hours and an epidural and then a few more hours.. and then the epidural wearing off and feeling everything again, it was time to push! I started pushing at 7:50 I think it was.. and then at 8:35 p.m. little cone head augie was born!
It was amazing and I will never forget it. I will never forget Wiss & Danielle being in the room while I pushed for the first time. And I will never forget my traveling nurse from Minnesota! I wanted her to talk in an accent.
I will never forget eating in n out after augie was born!
I can't believe it's been a year already.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Day 1

Today, I went out for a jog/walk.
I enjoyed the BOB stroller alot, just need to get used to running with a stroller! It's different, but I like it, so much smoother.
Anyway- I timed myself, walk vs run.

Walk: 4:49.0
Run: 1:52.1
Walk: 2:47.2
Run: 1:52.1
Walk: 3:17.5
Run: 1:42.6
Walk: 3:06.3
Run: 3:19.1
Walk: 16:08.0 (I walked, then went into Matt's work, stopped the timer of course, then walked up the hill)
Run: 5:24.6
Walk: 5:34.0
Run: 2:10.5
Walk: 1:39.5
Run: 3:06.4

Hopefully my running times will get better! But I feel really good. August ended up falling asleep in the stroller so when we got home I just kept him in it while I took a nice cold shower and got ready.
I have to go to Wal-Mart to get August a fan for his room, the one he had when he was a newborn took a crap a few months ago so I need to replace it. His room gets REALLY hot at night. Then off to Toys-R-Us to get some diapers (I've got coupons!) and maybe I'll pick up 1 toy for his birthday present.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

She's crafty...

So I guess I do have a crafty side to me. I saved money by NOT buying cute address labels, so I am making them. It's taking forever but I am having fun doing it. I have 55 to do and I have only done like 3 hours! I have taken breaks and done a few other things.. but whatever!
The hard part is cutting them out!!!
I was able to buy full sheets of sticky paper (label paper, but just a full sheet, no pre-cut labels!) I am really excited about it!
I also found some cool robot clip art that I was able to put on top of the address before the name.
I hope it looks cute with everything else.
I also am not stressing AS much since Matt's mom is coming out for the party! She's very crafty and did catering for awhile.. so she knows how to plan a party!
I can't believe that August is going to be 1 in 3 weeks.. and i really can't believe that Jackson Ralph is going to be 1 in 6 days!
time is going fast!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Kids Favors

Ok so I was going to do favors for the kids for August birthday party... but I have NO idea how many kids will be there. We are inviting cousins that have all together like 10 kids! Plus some of Matt's work people have kids and then all the group of kids!
Can I just have a table that is crayons and robot cut outs that they can color and lots of pinwheels they can take home, and candy bags if they want to take candy home (everyone really). Plus Matt's mom is making A shaped cookies that are in bags for everyone.
Is that ok?!??!
I don't want to leave someone out of a favor bag, I would feel worse than just not doing them and letting them take home the crafts they colored and then candy and cookies!
Ideas!!?!? Thoughts!?!?

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

If you ever are bored...

you can always call me, because i'm sure to talk your ear off.

I'm on a blog rampage I guess.

So I am feeling like crap again today. I just need rest, and of course when you are at home with your children you can't do that! Matt is going to see if he can just work 1/2 day so I can get some really needed rest!
Right now I am just sitting in the rocking chair in August's room while he is moving around exploring everything he can get his hands on. He has started clanking he teeth together, I thought he had something in his mouth with the sound he was making, but really it's just his teeth. I wish he wouldn't do that, it's an awful sound and probably not good for him!
His sleeping pattern is changing too. He goes to bed around 7 and gets up around 7, but he doesn't take a morning nap that much anymore. If he does take a morning nap he won't take an afternoon nap and vice versa.
I gave him sausage on Saturday and he loved it! He also loves these POP BBQ Chips. They get spicy, but he loves them! I weighed him the other day and he was 27 pounds, I think he has gotten taller the past 2 months too. He pretty much is in size 24 months, even though we only have 18 months, it's all getting real small on him. His shoe size is about 4 1/2, I think all around he's just a giant baby, but in 23 days he will be a giant ONE year old, which I can't gasp the reality on that one.
I really don't think you know how fast a year goes by until you have had a child! It is UNREAL! I feel like it was just yesterday he was just a baby that ate, pooped and slept... and that was it! Now he eats, poops, crawls, cruises, plays, gets into stuff, hugs, kisses, waves, talks, and everything in between. Oh and I need to mention that he has EIGHT teeth!
I can't wait to have another BABY, but I know we have to deal with what's going in our life now before we even think about it. But in all truths, I would love to get pregnant at the end of this year. It would make the kids alittle over 2 years apart. I would want to get pregnant around November or December and have a late summer baby.
Alright well I am going to attempt to put August down, he's getting alittle crazy and rubbing his eyes, a sure sign of tiredness!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Dear God...I NEED YOU.

So lately I have been SO indecisive it's driving me insane. I feel like it is a huge part of my stress. I do not know why I am like this, because I have never in my life felt this way. If I wanted something, or I had to make a decision I could do it in a heartbeat. Now it takes me a million heartbeats because I don't know what I should do!
I feel like it has gotten the best of me lately.
We are going through so many financial decisions and life changing decisions that I feel like everything I am doing I am going to regret or make the wrong choice.
I need God to show me the right path because I feel like whatever I do is wrong!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Do they have medicine for STRESS?

So the past couple days I have been on stress overload. I think it has made me sick, because since Friday I have felt like crap.
I am stressed about so many things.. mostly August's birthday party. It would be so much easier if our house wasn't small, or we had a backyard. Lisa offered her house, and I have also thought of parks...yet I feel like every time I have made a choice, it's the wrong one.. so really I haven't made up my mind yet! His party is in 27 days.. ahhh.
I am stressed about our house situation and money. The stress is always there, but lately it's been on overload maximum (haha).
I don't know what to do about this stress. I need a getaway, that's paid for!
What I need is a party planner for free, so I don't have to worry about all this. Can you tell I've never really planned a a real one. The guest list is like crazy. It's like 100 people. 1/2 family and 1/2 friends, and I have tried to slim it down but I can't.. I know not everyone will come, I can already remove like 30 people...
Ok well I need some food and to just get my mind clear!!!!!!!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

so sick of being fat.

So I used to think I was fat like 7 years ago, but 7 years ago I was only 140 pounds! Then I slowly gained weight.. and 7 years later, after having a baby I am now 185.5 pounds. I really hate looking at my flabby stomach, my big round face, my huge thighs.. so a few weeks ago I decided that I am really going to make a change.. and stick to it.
I want to be 140 again and feel skinny. I would actually like to be smaller than that, but I'll shoot for 140!
So I got this lose it app, which has helped so much. I have been trying to work out every day. Lately I have been doing Wii Fit for at least 30 minutes, and if I can get a walk in also then it's even better. Yesterday I walked with Lori for 80 minutes, and I felt great. I love walking, and I actually love getting off my butt and working out! I look forward to it, unlike before.
Also, I have been cutting my portions of food down. I still eat the same things, except all the fries whenever I'd go out, but I just don't eat as much. I look at how many calories are in everything. I can eat alittle over 1700 calories, and usually I am right on target everyday. I will go over maybe once a week, but not by much.
When I started I was 188 pounds. I think I have been doing it for about 3 weeks and I am now 185.5, which isn't bad.. since I gained a few pounds over superbowl weekend! If it wasn't for that, I would probably be alittle lighter!
Anyway.. I am just really glad that I found something I can stick too and doesn't totally change what I can and can't eat.
My goal is to be 170 pounds by June, which is a weight loss of 1 pound a week. I really think I can do it.
That's all. I am going to be a skinny bitch.. so watch out!

Thursday, January 28, 2010


Last night I decided that since I knew it was going to be nice out that I would walk to the grocery store to pick up my BC pills instead of driving! So this morning after August woke up and had his breakfast and I had my breakfast we went upstairs and I tired putting him down for a nap...not happening! So I put him on the bed with his paci, remote and pillows and turned on the boob tube to Yo Gabba Gabba.. he LOVES that show.
I took a really quick shower, got ready, got August stuff ready and then got him ready. We set out for our walk at 11:03. It started to get really hot! I put my small little cardigan over the stroller to shield the sun from August's face. He ended up falling asleep. We got to Matt's work 30 minutes later and then I went over to the grocery store to pick up my BC, some bandaids for my feet, some fish crackers for Augie, some new paci's and sippy cups. Then August and I went to TNT's and got a child's chocolate/vanilla yogurt. It was really good, and August ate more than half of it! Then Matt called and we decided to go to HANG OUT THAI CAFE.. it's really good and really cheap! We ate there and then hung out in the back of his truck. I really didn't want to walk back home because my feet were hurting so bad, but I did of course. So I got August a bottle and we headed back.. Took me about 25 minutes to get back home, took off my shoes when we got close to the house because my feet hurt so bad.
I feel so refreshed, and I think August really enjoyed it. He likes being outside and the past week with all that rain we didn't go outside!
Anyway.. that's my long story of my short walk!
I need to change a diaper...oh motherhood.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Blog it.

So I haven't blogged in awhile, I guess I don't have time...?
Well I don't even know what I blogged about last.
All I know is Friday we have an appointment that is going to change our life for the better.
We have alot going on right now and things are going to get better. I feel like the last few months so many doors have slammed in our face, and finally slowly new doors are opening, showing a light at the end of this dark tunnel we have been in.

August -
He has almost 8 teeth, and it's crazy. He isn't crawling or walking, but I think he will soon. He has been really cranky today and it's given me a headache.

I can't believe in 2 months he will be 1! We are doing a robot themed party, I am excited!