Well lately I have been not all myself. I feel like something is really off, I don't know if it is hormones or what, but I just don't feel the same. Last time I felt like this was before I found out I was pregnant with August (I am not pregnant, I have taken two test and they are negative, and I'm on birth control and I have had my period). So I feel like maybe it is a chemical imbalance. The past week I went through this crazy cleaning, organizing, nothing could be clean/in the right place mode. I threw out (donated) so many clothes, and stuff that I just don't use/need any more. I did the same in August's room. I bought all these bins to organize the closets (which look really good), and a new shoe organizer for August's shoes. But then when I thought it was done, I went back in his room and re-organized everything again. Then I returned some of the bins I bought at Target, and got different colors, because I just didn't think the colors matched. Then in our room we started doing everything in blue and brown and I have this one red bin that is on the top shelf of our closet, and every time I look at it, I get really frustrated that it does not match. Even though I have 4 pink bins that don't really match, that red one drives me crazy. So again, went to Target to make sure I had all the bins I needed, and thank goodness they were on sale! I feel okay with August room. It is how I want it to be for now, and everything is in it's place and it actually looks really good.
The next step was the living room, and dear lord this will never be clean. However, I packed away a ton of old toys that August doesn't play with any more and bought some bins for the shelving unit we have and it looks good (white shelf, black bins). Matt even said it made it look a lot cleaner.
Another huge issue I am having is sleep. Last night was probably one of the worst nights for me. I tossed and turned ALL night. I am a very light sleeper most of the time, so whenever the dog licks or I hear something outside I wake up. Gibby is getting better with her allergy problem so she isn't licking all night long, and we got her her own bed to sleep in, but in the middle of the night she creeps up next to me and wants under the covers. I have been trying to go to bed earlier, before Matt, so it's not as hard for me to fall asleep when he's up reading or listening to music or watching tv. Usually I can fall asleep when he's doing any of those things, but it's just easier if I'm already asleep.
My back has been hurting really bad and I think this is what is causing me to toss and turn all night, because I get so uncomfortable. I also have things running through my head a lot, and that causes me to just not fall asleep at all. Last night I had insane heart palpitations, so it took awhile for me to calm down and be able to fall asleep.
I am so tired during the day and I always tell myself to nap when Augusts naps, but I end up relaxing and watch tv or go on the computer instead of closing my eyes.
Even though I know I am 99% sure I am not pregnant, there's that 1% that drives me CRAZY. There is really NO WAY that I am, I just hold onto the hope that I am.
Matt doesn't want to have another child for awhile, yet I would like to start trying in October.
I think this is another thing that keeps me tossing and turning when I can't sleep.
Ok that's my life in a nutshell the past week or two.